To just illustrate how difficult life can be I will give one example below and keep writing.

When I was in hospital after my maybe 2nd or 3rd suicide attempt, but first time i was hospitaiised for it (obviously in psychiatric ward), I met a old guy who was very nice

He was 55 and suffering from anxiety. He had a rich family and himself was rich. Once he said that he could buy a Mercedes immediately but he is stuck in hospital instead of enjoying his retired life.

His treatment at that time was the novel drug esketamine that was administered to him in nasal sprays and it cost hundreds for each spray (not daily). Each spray as in literally each press of the spray nozzle. He was one of the few people in Singapore that got it.

He had a nice son and i think a daughter i never saw. The son was nice and his wife was great she brought cookies. They all had good relationships.

Obviously this guy has the money and the support, but what is the solution? He wasn’t suicidal. He wouldn’t do anything much all day. He talked here and there. At night he would request for Xanax if he needed it.

Life is hard, it’s extremely hard. I’m pretty sure that no imaginary descriptions of hell or torture or whatever can relate to the hardship of real life. See, this is an example of a rich and connected guy (He’s not living alone or whatever). There’s people of all ages who suffer from psychological distress and the way out of that only seems to be death.

It is true that the way out sometimes may be death. The other ways are constant torture and experimenting what works to end the distress besides suicide. Society which thinks the opposite is deluded, and have never witnessed that kind of suffering.

Now can the energy for suicide be used to suffer longer and wait for solutions, yes it is possible. If the suffering is somewhat bearable and delayed, it may be possible to commit suicide successfully later.

There is great suffering moment to moment, and no energy to commit suicide. It’s very difficult to commit suicide not just psychologically but physically and logistically.

People who say there is a way out besides suicide, I don’t think you understand the full picture. It is true that there are many ways out, but treading these paths themselves is difficult. How difficult is it to even do a simple act like eating medicine.

It is easy if you have the money or people to support you but what if you don’t have people to support you. That’s the reality of life.

Now all these is only a fraction of suffering I have not started talking about war and animal suffering.

Just some thoughts

The Iliad is good, as are many other works of art. Akhillaos means Grief of the People.
I think Nietzsche mentioned that “Without music, life would be a mistake”.
Well it is a mistake in any case.

Amoeba. Eukaryote. Dolphin. Otter. Seahorse. Whale.

Julian Julian Julian the Apostate.

Mutiny at the Beas river. Coenus speaks to the King, explaining that many of the men are homesick. Homesick. When the King announced that he planned to march back to Macedon, many of the men immediately burst into tears and called on Zeus to bless Alexander.

Witcher Season 2 and the next God of War will be missed.

You could say this and that caused this or that. Akhos, Penthos, Ancient Greek words to describe sorrow.

Many papers that I have prepared to download and have downloaded will be missed. Literature analysis of the Iliad, I didn’t read the Odyssey, On the Indo European culture.

The passages in The Iliad following the news of the death of Patroclus sent to Achilles, I think at the beginning of Book 16. Achilles heaps dust on his comely hair. And then, after the funeral of Patroclus, Achilles goes to sleep away from the host. Then he dreams of the ghost of Patroclus, and when he wakes, it is gone. Somewhere else in the poem Achilles sits next to the shore, where the ‘water comes in waves’ (not exact phrasing). The text of the water coming upon the shore in waves can be linked to Achilles sorrow; grief comes in waves.


Many times I turned to the Iliad for comfort, especially nights in Laos.
The meeting between Priam and Achilles is extremely touching. Both men contemplate on the fate of man. As in mankind.


squalor/ˈskwɒlə/Learn to pronouncenoun

  1. the state of being extremely dirty and unpleasant, especially as a result of poverty or neglect.”they lived in squalor and disease”


The world is a squalor. Why live in this squalor?